I was originally concerned to bring this up thinking, I've already talked about our sad day and maybe this will be a big downer for people to read so I should just wait until I am ready to write about something else. I am talking about my miscarriage. I'm guessing that the reason we don't talk about it more is because we don't want it to be true or real in our own lives so no body really brings it up too much until you have one yourself. It turns out, that many people in and around my life have experienced one and I have found out that the type I have had is a very common one, yet, I didn't know they were so very common before. I didn't know so many people have them, before. I didn't know to prepare myself for the possibility, because they happen all the time. That's because we don't talk about them.
So... while I hesitated discussing my own more, I decided that the point of this BLOG was to help other parents (and share the joy of my daughter with family and friends). If I can't discuss everything to do with parenting, which includes the disappointments, what good is this?
I have opted to pursue a natural miscarriage. This is one of three options and my doctor, though others may not agree, said the best option unless complications arise or it doesn't happen by the 12th week of the pregnancy. The other two options are a D&C, "Dilation (dilatation) and curettage literally refers to the dilation(opening) of the cervix and surgical removal of the contents of the uterus. It is a therapeutic gynecological procedure as well as a rarely used method of first trimester abortion." from Wikipedia, and a pill called misoprostol, "Physicians have begun prescribing misoprostol to women who have experienced a miscarriage early in pregnancy." from WebMD.
Every day is a day that I question letting it happen naturally, but I don't think I will change my mind unless complications arise. It is just a really weird thing to have your mind look forward to the future wanting to move on, but have your body still feel and act like you are pregnant. You tell your body every day that you are ready to stop being pregnant and wait for those signals to arrive in the right places to make things move along and when nothing happens you think, come on body... I need you to work with me, I'm ready to move on.
Regardless, I am keeping my mind as firmly set into the future as I can, because there is nothing I can do to rewrite the past. I just wish I had known how common this was so I would have had some amount of expectation for its possibility. "Studies reveal that anywhere from 10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage." from American Pregnancy Association. I think that if we are given so much early information with home testing kits being so accurate, that we should also have this information to counter-balance just how excited we get. It's good to know what the chance of success is.
Again, I am not wanting to be a downer, I just want to be someone who talked about it in case it helps someone else with their own situation. I'll post an Ari update soon, I promise.
Friday, June 27, 2008
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8 comments:
You're an amazing woman. I agree that this information should be more available and you've done a beautiful job of presenting all the information in both a personal and objective way--quite a trick.
*hugs*
Thank you for all the knowledge about a miscarriage. Like you said with how often it does happen it's odd that no one ever talks about it. I read online the 10-25% data and it terrified me (that's a pretty high number!). I came to find out my Grandmother had one or two, yet she never had mentioned it before. I think it's better to talk about it and share your experience with others. I hate to bring up my breast issue again, but it was really surprising how many women I found out went through a breast biopsy just like mine. I had no idea it was so common.
oh honey, I'm so sorry. How are you doing? You are right, it is fairly common, I too had one about 5 years ago.
Please let me know if there is anything you need or even if you just need to talk.
hugs...
I think most people don't talk about stuff like this because it can make others uncomfortable...or they prefer to be private about it...or "nice folks don't" talk about these sorts of issues. Add whatever other reason, too :)
But as you've noticed, once you yourself open the communication and indicate a willingness to speak about these issues, others will come forward to share their experiences as well.
Thank you for all the concern and the support! I am doing okay but am still waiting. All in all, I'm glad I feel free to talk about it, and I'm really happy if it arms someone else with more information. It's nice to know your friends are there for you, too. :)
(( Hugs))
Hi Michelle,
It's Sara (Stone). I read your blog tonight and regret not reading it sooner. I think you are one of the wisest people I've known. I'm am so impressed with your honesty and how in touch with your feelings you are. I'm so happy you wrote about your miscarriage and shed light on the reality of both the scientific and emotional aspects of it. I agree that people tend to shy away from talking about emotionally depressing or what they feel might be embarresing topics and I feel the contrary. The more you bring that stuff up with your close friends and family, the more you find you are not alone. I feel that discussing these things, actually brings you closer to people. I am sorry for your loss, but know that I will be hearing good news from you very soon :)!
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