This was going to be profound!

So tonights post was going to potentially be post-partum take 2 or maybe the 6 word biography that I was tagged with and need to get to writing or maybe something else fun and interesting. Instead I am sitting here wondering how my whole day could be ruined by a little green frog.

Ok... Ruined may be a bit melodramatic, but I think you will understand. Ari has had this little green frog with a blanket attached since she was like 7 or 8 months. They bonded very quickly and mommy rushed out to the store to buy a few more knowing the day would come that something would happen to one of them or one of them would need to get cleaned and there would be the need for a back up. Well.. I had kept two here at the house and had given my parents the third so Ari could occasionally sleep at their house.

Today started out almost like any other day except my 'rents have (skipped town to hang out with friends) taken a much needed vacation and also Ari hadn't gone to sleep the night before (because who needs sleep?) until 11:30 so she woke up at 8 when usually she is up between 7 and 7:30. The hubby played with her a little bit while I showered and got ready for the day. Ari and I went about our morning per usual. We went to soccer class where we got a medal (I'll post that picture tomorrow I hope) since it was the last day of the session. We then went to My Kids Clubhouse to play for a bit and then dragged ourselves out to go home and take a nap. Here is the place where it really went down hill. We get home and I have no clue what happened to Froggy (i.e. her little green friend). I put her in her room for fear that all the excitement of looking will entertain her enough to get her wired. I go looking around and around but no Froggy. I hear her start crying so I go up and she wants her pacifier. I give it to her and tell her I am still looking but I'll be back.

Luckily, she fell asleep as I ran up and down and all around looking for this little guy or even the back up guy will do. Not a green smiling face in the bunch. I looked in crayon boxes, legos boxes, in her playroom, in the bathrooms, in our bedroom, *pant* *pant* and I am sooo tired and hot I start getting really flustered until I realize that she indeed had fallen asleep. Whew! Now we just need to find one of two by tonight.

Well... Tonight came and tonight was no less frustrating. There are TWO of them. How can I not find at least ONE! I literally spent about an hour looking in every little container that she might have stuffed him into. I look in every cabinet in the kitchen. I run up and down and up and down the stairs like I'm training for a step-athalon. Where is FROGGY? I even ask my 2.5 yr old where she put him and she tries to show me where, but he isn't there. Guess she doesn't remember either.

Finally, I give up. I call my parents at 12:30 their time to find out where they have their Froggy. My mom gives me a description of where to find him and I send my adoring husband to find him. After searching where he was told, he calls and says there is no Froggy. I then call my mom back and now we are bordering 1AM. She doesn't pick up and between the time I hang up and she calls me back, Ari decides to try to take a flying leap off the couch head first. I narrowly grab her by her thighs as she is plummeting to certain pain when my mom calls back. Juggling a completely screaming, freaked out toddler, the phone, and the questions about what we need to do, I finally tell my mom to call her number and talk to John. Having calmed Ari down, my husband shows up and says, nope. He can't find THEIR Froggy either! *sigh* How can all three be missing? My husband thinks it is a sign from God that she is ready to give up her lovey. I think that is baloney, but hey... I don't see any problem with having a little friend.

When John arrived back I was already upstairs with her reading her books for bed and we switched. When it was time to lay down, she of course asked for Froggy. My husband told her that Froggy was doing okay, but for tonight could she please take care of Flamingo (because we all know pink flamingos and green frogs are really interchangeable.) LOL Anyway, she seemed to buy it and grabbed the flamingo. When he leaves her she starts yelling down that she wants a cup of milk so I bring it up to her. She drinks some and then again asks me for Froggy while trying to hand me the flamingo. I reiterate that Froggy is fine, but that Flamingo is lonely and could she please take care of him tonight. She seems hesitant at first, but then falls in with the plan. I also pointed out that she had a really big version of froggy on her bed too. (Which she does minus the blanket.)

To make this long story longer... She successfully has had a nap and is now sleeping without Froggy but I feel completely frustrated, tired, worn out, and perplexed as to where are the Froggies have gone! Have you seen our Froggies? Maybe I should post missing signs around our neighborhood. I can attach the picture from one of me earlier posts where she is sleeping with him.

Guess I have a quick trip to babies r us tomorrow to see if they still carry him. I honestly do not know what could have happened to him.

Weird and so lacking in anything profound or interesting!

A Day with Safta

Why is it that Grandparents are so much more fun? :)While John and I were in Vegas we went to Excaliber and bought Ari a pink dragon (not shown), a princess crown, and a princess scepter or wand. We just couldn't come back empty handed... (Can anyone say parental guilt?) LOL Anyway, she is adorable in them. The first day she got them she got the scepter first and right away said, "need a crown!" LOL Luckily, we were prepared.
My mom set up a blow up pool in her back yard that Ari was having a blast playing in. Apparently she was dancing in and out of it, splashing around like a mermaid, and having all sorts of tomfoolery. :)

Thanks Safta for making your time together really memorable for you both!

Long Ari Update

It has been a busy time so I have not been very good at keeping up with my postings, but I know I need to do another Ari update before anything else, so here goes. :)

The last weekend in May we went to visit family near San Jose. We chose to drive up which took about 9 hours with stops for traveling with a toddler. Especially since we got out the gate and pretty soon after, she peed through her clothes. We switched clothes and diaper and went on our merry way. We eventually stopped at a Flying J truck stop thinking that the buffet they offer would give Ari enough variety that she would be happy eating. WRONG! I ended up eating crappy buffet food while my husband says he isn't hungry and Ari refuses to think about food. Also, we could buy gas or anything from the store because their computers were down. We went to another gas station and they had run out of gas. The last one finally offered up some gas and a way to pay. Hehe.. Of course while there, I changed her diaper again. About 20 minutes away from there, Ari pees through her clothes again. *groan* Are we sure we are going to make it? LOL Anyway, we finally did make our destination and we all had a wonderful time. Unfortunately, the trip back wasn't so good (you hear the sarcasm there). She was not in the mood to hang in the car for so long while being sick. There was much crying by the end unfortunately. Anyway... Here are some pictures from the trip. :)This first picture is Ari and Mommy at a really cool play area called The Jungle.
This one is also from the Jungle. They had some fun ride on toys like this cute dinosaur that Ari loved.This next picture is Ari showing off how she can play computer games all by herself now. She has become so good with a mouse. It is amazing!

In this picture, Ari was playing with her Daddy and Uncle. Daddy handed her random things from inside the house and Ari with her shoes on and Mommy's shoes on would race out, clomp clomp clomp, and give it to her Uncle Chris. It was a good time for all. Sometimes it is the simple things that entertain them. :)

The next weekend, we took Ari all over the place. Here are some pictures from the fun we had then.

This is Ari at the Air and Space Museum. She just loves the little Air Plane that they have for them to climb into. She spends so much time just climbing in and out and spinning the propeller. This is a really bad picture of me, but such a great picture of the two people I love most, so it had to make the cut. We are still in the Air and Space Museum in another airplane that you can climb into. She loves this place. :)
After the Air and Space Museum we headed over to an area near the zoo that has a carousel and a great train. This is Mommy and Ari on the Carousel. I don't know why Ari had to go on the Ostrich, but that's what she wanted. LOL

And this is Daddy and Ari on the train ride. She sat behind the engine and just had a blast!
Later that day, after her nap, we went to La Jolla Shores beach and enjoyed some sand. I originally tried to raise a tom boy and up to a point she is, but her favorite colors lately are pink and yellow. She looks so cute in it, it is hard to try to dissuade her. Guess she has a little girly girl in there. :)While at the beach, we saw the most unusual thing that just fascinated Ari. These college kids were making a movie about this robot couple. Ari got to watch the guy and girl play "dress up" in robot costumes. They then danced together. It was so funny. Notice the girl robot has designer yellow shoes, a pink bow in her hair, and her middle is long like a dress. Hehe...
The next day we took Ari to Sea World. We were in the Shamu area and people kept walking in front of our friend as he was trying to capture a picture of her. It turned out to be a cute picture though with her peeking through all those people.
Here is a broad shot from the same time. On this day Ari dressed herself. Yellow pants, red shirt, purple coat, pink hat, gold necklace, if I remember correctly black socks, and brown shoes. Doesn't she look cute? :)I also promised everyone a picture of Ari at soccer. This is the first one I got this last week. She is adorable in her little soccer shirt. I'll add more as soon as I get to downloading them.

Okay... that's it for this update. Besides everything above, this last weekend my husband and I went away to Vegas for my first night and day and a half away from Ari. I was nervous, but she had a blast with her Safta and Saba and I had an amazing time in Vegas with the love of my life. We walked like a gazillion miles ate a second dinner at 1 AM and slept in a little bit. While there, we saw the Cirque Du Soliel show LOVE. It was AMAZING! It has become my favorite Cirque show. I highly recommend it. Not sure I refreshed in the sleep department, but I definitely think I refreshed in the mental department. My husband and I got to talk about something other than child rearing. It was really wonderful! Anyway, this is why I haven't been as active as I should on here, but I'll try to play catch up for the next few days.

Thanks for reading!

Post-Partum Depression - Take 1

Here is a topic that I have soooo many ideas about. This means that I will try to think of some of them now and then remember others of them and come back with Take 2. Why is there such a rise in Post-Partum Depression (PPD)? What causes this? Is it just that we are diagnosing more?

I'll answer the last question first. Yes, there are probably more accurate diagnosis of PPD now than in the past. Does that mean that the same number of women suffered from it as today but were never diagnosed? I don't believe that. With so many women being bad off enough that they need medical interference to cope with and grow out of their PPD, it is unimaginable that the same number of women suffered PPD as badly as women today do and they just made do. This is my belief so feel free to disagree. I don't hear a lot of the older generation, though, talk about crying every day and feeling like they just couldn't manage to go on or do anything or that they didn't bond with their children for a long time from so much pain and resentment.

So... if it is something that has grown, why? In no particular order...

1) Women aren't raised to be mothers anymore, they are raised to be workers. In the past we lived tribally and all the women and girls would gather and work together. This means that the girls got to observe and help with the raising the children. When it was there turn they had a good idea of what they needed to do and how. As we moved into societies, we still lived in a village type of setting where the role of little girls were to help their mothers take care of the family home. They would often help with the little children during gatherings. I am a big fan of getting paid equally to a man for the same job and definitely like having the right to vote, but I sometimes feel like the feminist movement threw out the baby, literally, with the bath water. In the act of trying to teach little girls to be independent women who can earn a wage and take care of themselves, we stopped teaching them how to be mother's and what that will mean in their lives. It is a completely selfless existence that is very hard to achieve when you are taught to think of only your self/goals/dreams/etc. It is okay to have both. There is no need to leave out the education and independence so that you can learn to be a caretaker and there is no need to leave out being a caretaker so that you can learn to be a worker. These educations can co-exist. When you are suddenly faced with your baby, you are left wondering.. What now? I don't have the first inkling of how to go about taking care of such a needy little thing. What about my needs? Don't I get any rewards or praise for this job? It is very daunting to suddenly find yourself being the main person responsible for such a precious gift and yet you don't have the first clue as to what you are doing. This is why there is such a demand for parenting books now. My mother and mother-in-law laugh about how they didn't get any manuals on what to do with children. Knowledge, as they say, is power, or I like to say, empowering.

2) Speaking of tribal life... That was a built in support system. You never were a mother in her own home trying to figure it all out by yourself. You were a women amongst many women all helping each other out. Our modern day version of this is a play group, which is helpful, but can really only do so much because at the end of the day, we all end up back in our little cocoon (house) with a crying baby who is crying as we are sleep deprived and guessing at what could be wrong. Even when we moved to villages, our homes were often open to each other all the time because everyone in the village was friends with everyone else. Your neighbor could walk from their yard to yours and help at any time. Even not that long ago in US history we would have immigrant ghettos that would make it that everyone had a feeling of closeness and connectedness based on where they came from. This meant that everyone helped everyone else out and children were often raised by the community. It was no big deal to let your child go down and play with the other children and have your next door neighbor come by, see them doing something wrong, and they felt free to tell them to stop and to drag them back to their parents for punishment. Nowadays, we just don't know our local communities that well. We make our friends and they can live a 15 minute car ride away from you. You also don't feel comfortable in the same way that we used to in asking for help on a regular basis. We all feel like their is something wrong with us if we can't handle it. I believe this is partially because of the lack of connectedness of our communities. If we saw ourselves as a part of something instead of as an island, we wouldn't worry so much about what impression we were making by asking for support. We would know it was there for the asking.

3) Back to not being raised as mothers, the other side of that coin is that we are raised to be workers. For those women that chose to become stay-at-home moms (SAHM), this is a really difficult transition. If you are taught that your self worth comes from how much you make and the status of your position, then what happens when you can't answer the question of "What do you do?" and you don't feel you are contributing to the family income? You are left wondering, "Who am I?", "How can I define myself?", "Am I a dependent woman now instead of an independent one?", "Will my husband still love me if I am dependent?", "Will people still respect my intelligence if they here I am a SAHM and I don't have a respected employable position?" It is hard to define yourself by certain parameters all your early life only to have to redefine yourself all of a sudden through a time that is already charged with so many questions and doubts.

4) Women are also having children much later nowadays which has its pluses and minuses. On the plus side, we are more responsible over all, able to provide more since we have had time for ourselves and our husbands to establish a career and home, have a lot of wisdom to impart from having lived such a full younger life, etc. Unfortunately, this comes with a price. Since we have established our lives so well, we also often times, love the life we have established and find it really hard to give it up. Many a first mom has had the thought (even though they love their baby from the start), "What have I done?", "I loved our life!", "I had so much freedom!" You have established a wonderful relationship with your spouse, your friends, your family. Your traveling, enjoying going out late with friends, taking all sorts of "me" time, and wham... all of that is gone. Of course in the end, after some time, you realize that while there is less "me" time and you aren't free anymore, you have traded up, not down. At first though, you have a screaming baby, not a playful toddler full of kisses and laughter, and this little baby just has all these needs that it demands be fore filled with near to no reward. Your life before baby starts to look pretty rosy for a while there.

Okay... there will be more to come for sure, but it is late and time for me to get some of that much needed sleep that mothers never seem to get! :)

Where are my stamps?

Ari has been sick this last week (which is one of the reasons it has taken me so long to get back to posting) and so we have been missing all of her classes. For those that don't have your children in any classes, at the end of each class, there is always stamps that they give to all the children. They are always on the hands, often on the feet, and sometimes found on the belly!

So this week, having not gone to our classes of music, gymnastics, soccer, and dance, we had NO STAMPS! Ari was so upset the other day realizing that when she looked down at her little hands there was nothing there to look at. It was the cutest thing, but also got me thinking.

If we, when they are children, promote decorations on the body such as stamps and stickers in various locations from classes or often also at home, how can it come as a shock when they grow up and want to decorate their bodies? I have a tattoo and love it, but it is one subtle, discreet tat. I have nothing against getting tattoos though admittedly I don't personally find it attractive when people have "sleeves" or are exceedingly covered in them. I don't think it is wrong, just a personal preference. Now as a parent, I do understand why we have a hard time, if we don't have any and never wanted one, why it is hard to understand or desire our children to have them. You look at them as your baby always and you think, "You are perfect! Absolutely perfect!"

Still, if they grow up decorating themselves, then it only stands to reason that they won't find it such a mental leap to choose to one day make a permanent decoration of something they find meaning in. I guess this theory will have to wait and see. I don't plan on stopping Ari from getting her beloved stamps at the end of her classes so years from now, I'll see if she ever chooses to make herself a permanent "stamp."

Until then, I will continue to let her know she is perfect just as she is!

P.S. Thanks for the kick in the butt to get back to posting Tonya! :)

Some Cute, Some Funny Things!

Ari likes to dress up as a pirate and run around saying "Argh! Looking for treasure chest! Aye Mateys!" LOL The evidence is above.

Ari also likes to play video games which makes sense since her dad and I are both total geek gamers. Here is the evidence for this one.



My husband got back from work the other day and Ari was busy with something on the floor in the family room. He comes to me and gives me a big hug. I love his hugs! Well, Ari looks up from what she is doing and yells, "Wait a minute!" She then runs over, stands between us saying, "up!" We pick her up and she just so happy to be included in our hug. :) My heart could well burst with love and joy at this little girl! I also couldn't help laughing at her, "Wait a minute!" It was so out of the blue and funny!

There is a holiday in Judaism called Lag B Omer. For this holiday, people create bonfires in commemoration. We took Ari to a celebration that was held early, for this holiday. Here is Ari watching her first bonfire. She was fascinated! This is a family shot with my husband, me, and my mom.


She is well attached to her lovie, Froggy. It turns out that yesterday, while my husband and I had the gall to go on a date to a movie (with no little kids, thank god!), my mom, Safta, had to put Ari to sleep. Well, all would have been well except Ari has started putting Froggy into one of her drawers in her dresser. I forgot to mention this to my mom, unfortunately. Part way through the movie I get a call, "Where is Froggy?!?!?!?" I had to explain about the drawer. When we get home, I get the full lowdown. Turns out that they, my mom and Ari, were wandering the whole house looking for Froggy. Apparently they were both chanting, "Where's Froggy?" in a desperate attempt to get the little guy to show himself. Ari isn't allowed out of her room with her pacifier but since they were up in her room before my mom realized they were missing a certain green friend, they came downstairs with paci in mouth. My little angel proceeded to point at her pacifier with a ha, ha, look what I shouldn't be doing hum in her voice. After much looking, my mom tries to give Ari a different frog friend to sleep with. Apparently, when this happened and my mom left her upstairs, Ari just laid there saying in a sad voice, "Froggy.... Froggy... Froggy." My mom couldn't stand to hear her so sad, which brings us to the phone call in the theater. I think she likes her little buddy... what do you think? Hehe... No other frog will do! Yes that's him whispering sweet nothings in her ear. :)


Lately, she has taken to singing a lot too! It is so cute I just have to find my video camera! She sings Mary had a Red Dress, 5 Little Monkeys, Humpty Dumpty, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Old McDonald, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. I'll have to send her to American Idol Tot Audition! :)

Tomorrow we start soccer class! I think she will love this since she just adores kicking around a ball and being outside. I'll let you know!

Movies and Children

This last weekend Safta watched Ari while we went with a friend to check out a movie. The movie... Ironman. Yes, its based on a comic book. Yes, there is a G as part of its rating, but the rest of that rating is a P and -13. We've also recently seen National Treasure (PG) and The Bank Job (R). I haven't been able to fully enjoy any of these movies. Why? Because there are children 7 or younger at every single one of these movies. They are watching people drowning, being shot, and things blowing up.

(Mild Spoiler Alert - Ironman)
In the latest movie, there was a child young enough to be holding his blankie as he followed his parents to their seats and a girl who couldn't be more than 5. Also in the latest movie we get to watch a family being terrorized by terrorists as they rip the father from the clutches of his wife and children so they can shoot him. The son runs from his mom to his father who tells him to go back and then starts being beaten in front of his family. Just like blue's clues, right?

I cringe every time these scenes come up thinking of the children just a few seats down from me watching what I am watching. What is wrong with these parents? Are they so desperate to see a movie, that they would scare their children?

I am so tired of hearing that it is the movies, the computer games, the music, the (fill in the blank). Why are we seeing so much violence in our children? Maybe it is the parents. Things with a label of R, Mature, or Explicit should still be allowed to exist, parents just shouldn't be letting their children see or play them. On top of this, if you start your children watching violent scenes from such young ages, don't be surprised when your pre-teen is sneaking in movies, games, and CDs that they shouldn't be involved with. They are so inured to violence, language, and sexually explicit things that they moved onwards and upwards. (In case you can't sense the sarcarsm dripping on the onwards and upwards, let me assure you, its there.)

I just want to be able to enjoy a TEEN+/ADULT movie again. Please keep your children at home with a babysitter. If they just have to see certain movies, then at least wait until they are on DVD so you can skip the really bad parts. That's what I do with my 2 year old and Finding Nemo because she really doesn't need to be seeing an evil shark or fish with big teeth anymore than the 5 year old needs to see terrorists. They are only as innocent as you leave them to be.

Oh... and stop blaming everything and everyone but yourselves. My husband is in the game industry and M for Mature are games specifically targeted to people who can handle them... Adults!

You can tell this really frustrates me.