Some Cute, Some Funny Things!

Ari likes to dress up as a pirate and run around saying "Argh! Looking for treasure chest! Aye Mateys!" LOL The evidence is above.

Ari also likes to play video games which makes sense since her dad and I are both total geek gamers. Here is the evidence for this one.



My husband got back from work the other day and Ari was busy with something on the floor in the family room. He comes to me and gives me a big hug. I love his hugs! Well, Ari looks up from what she is doing and yells, "Wait a minute!" She then runs over, stands between us saying, "up!" We pick her up and she just so happy to be included in our hug. :) My heart could well burst with love and joy at this little girl! I also couldn't help laughing at her, "Wait a minute!" It was so out of the blue and funny!

There is a holiday in Judaism called Lag B Omer. For this holiday, people create bonfires in commemoration. We took Ari to a celebration that was held early, for this holiday. Here is Ari watching her first bonfire. She was fascinated! This is a family shot with my husband, me, and my mom.


She is well attached to her lovie, Froggy. It turns out that yesterday, while my husband and I had the gall to go on a date to a movie (with no little kids, thank god!), my mom, Safta, had to put Ari to sleep. Well, all would have been well except Ari has started putting Froggy into one of her drawers in her dresser. I forgot to mention this to my mom, unfortunately. Part way through the movie I get a call, "Where is Froggy?!?!?!?" I had to explain about the drawer. When we get home, I get the full lowdown. Turns out that they, my mom and Ari, were wandering the whole house looking for Froggy. Apparently they were both chanting, "Where's Froggy?" in a desperate attempt to get the little guy to show himself. Ari isn't allowed out of her room with her pacifier but since they were up in her room before my mom realized they were missing a certain green friend, they came downstairs with paci in mouth. My little angel proceeded to point at her pacifier with a ha, ha, look what I shouldn't be doing hum in her voice. After much looking, my mom tries to give Ari a different frog friend to sleep with. Apparently, when this happened and my mom left her upstairs, Ari just laid there saying in a sad voice, "Froggy.... Froggy... Froggy." My mom couldn't stand to hear her so sad, which brings us to the phone call in the theater. I think she likes her little buddy... what do you think? Hehe... No other frog will do! Yes that's him whispering sweet nothings in her ear. :)


Lately, she has taken to singing a lot too! It is so cute I just have to find my video camera! She sings Mary had a Red Dress, 5 Little Monkeys, Humpty Dumpty, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Old McDonald, and Itsy Bitsy Spider. I'll have to send her to American Idol Tot Audition! :)

Tomorrow we start soccer class! I think she will love this since she just adores kicking around a ball and being outside. I'll let you know!

Movies and Children

This last weekend Safta watched Ari while we went with a friend to check out a movie. The movie... Ironman. Yes, its based on a comic book. Yes, there is a G as part of its rating, but the rest of that rating is a P and -13. We've also recently seen National Treasure (PG) and The Bank Job (R). I haven't been able to fully enjoy any of these movies. Why? Because there are children 7 or younger at every single one of these movies. They are watching people drowning, being shot, and things blowing up.

(Mild Spoiler Alert - Ironman)
In the latest movie, there was a child young enough to be holding his blankie as he followed his parents to their seats and a girl who couldn't be more than 5. Also in the latest movie we get to watch a family being terrorized by terrorists as they rip the father from the clutches of his wife and children so they can shoot him. The son runs from his mom to his father who tells him to go back and then starts being beaten in front of his family. Just like blue's clues, right?

I cringe every time these scenes come up thinking of the children just a few seats down from me watching what I am watching. What is wrong with these parents? Are they so desperate to see a movie, that they would scare their children?

I am so tired of hearing that it is the movies, the computer games, the music, the (fill in the blank). Why are we seeing so much violence in our children? Maybe it is the parents. Things with a label of R, Mature, or Explicit should still be allowed to exist, parents just shouldn't be letting their children see or play them. On top of this, if you start your children watching violent scenes from such young ages, don't be surprised when your pre-teen is sneaking in movies, games, and CDs that they shouldn't be involved with. They are so inured to violence, language, and sexually explicit things that they moved onwards and upwards. (In case you can't sense the sarcarsm dripping on the onwards and upwards, let me assure you, its there.)

I just want to be able to enjoy a TEEN+/ADULT movie again. Please keep your children at home with a babysitter. If they just have to see certain movies, then at least wait until they are on DVD so you can skip the really bad parts. That's what I do with my 2 year old and Finding Nemo because she really doesn't need to be seeing an evil shark or fish with big teeth anymore than the 5 year old needs to see terrorists. They are only as innocent as you leave them to be.

Oh... and stop blaming everything and everyone but yourselves. My husband is in the game industry and M for Mature are games specifically targeted to people who can handle them... Adults!

You can tell this really frustrates me.

Respectful vs. Sucker

It is so hard to find a good balance between teaching our children to share, respect others, take turns, wait in line and to be a doormat, sucker, wallpaper. Today I watched what I thought was that line crossed so here I am writing. :)

I always try to make sure that I am right there to tell Ari, do not take that toy they are playing with, wait your turn, be patient, share what you have been playing with for a while, etc. I also make sure that she sees me advocate for her though when other children aren't playing by those rules. If she has just started playing with something, that is not a share time, that is the time when the other child needs to learn not to take someone else's toy. When she has been waiting patiently to take a turn on something, I make sure she gets her turn at the right time. I do not allow another child to walk all over her rights as much as I don't let Ari walk on other people's rights.

Today at an indoor play place we like to go to, Ari and I were playing in one area that had a little kids roller coaster type thing and at the end of it, there are soft blocks that you can make a tower to ride through if you so choose. Next to us were two moms chatting away. They each had a boy around 4 or 5 years old and one had a little girl around a year. We will call them Mom A, who has just Little Boy A, and Mom B with Little Boy B and Little Girl B. Little Boy A was trying to build himself a tower to then rise through but it was taking a while because it kept falling over. Ari and I were playing with something else, but she ended up taking an interest in the roller coaster. I was about to tell her she could go after Little Boy A. Mom A stepped in and said, Little Boy A should let Ari have a turn. I wanted to tell her that it was okay he had been working on this tower for a while, etc., but I don't like to contradict a mom trying to teach her child a life lesson like sharing so I went with it. I made sure to tell Ari how nice it was for the boy to have built us a tower, to thank him, and that he was going to have his turn as soon as she was done. We took our turn and kept playing in the area with something else. Little Boy A starts building his tower again. A little boy about one walks into the area unattended and keeps knocking this boys tower over. The little boys mom isn't around to correct it, and Little Boy A's mom isn't doing anything about it either. I wasn't really involved so I wasn't sure what I should do, but I know that if it was Ari working so hard, I would have actively distracted this little child away from the tower so she could build it.

Anyway, the little boy finally distracted himself elsewhere and Little Boy A was starting to make progress on his tower when Little Boy B runs up, sits on the roller coaster thingie, and says it is his turn and that Little Boy A should make him a tower. Little Boy A tries to say it is his turn, but both mother's are ignoring the whole affair and the one sitting down, Little Boy B, wins. He builds the tower and right before Little Boy B starts to go, Little Girl B comes up to her brother wanting a turn and her mom says to Little Boy B, "You can take your turn, but it is her turn next." So... right after Little Boy B, Little Girl B gets to go. My heart was breaking for Little Boy A. He had been trying so hard to make himself a tower to go just once and he was being so very patient and he just kept getting pushed off. I did the only thing an outsider could possibly do, since I'm not his mother, I told him how patient he was being and that it was so nice of him to build the towers for the other children.

In my book, if you are going to interfere with normal child interactions where they need to resolve their own conflicts with might to teach respecting each other, then you also need to interfere in a way that advocates for your child so they learn not only do others need to get respect, but that they deserve to demand respect from others in kind. Otherwise, just step out of it entirely so you don't demolish their self worth.

Kindness and respect are a two way road.

Ari's Language Leap

Ari has been speaking so much lately. The latest bought of not sleeping through the night has been punctuated with her unable to sleep so she cries and I go in to her, I do the normal check the pacifier, check for froggy, rub on the head and leave. When she really can't sleep, she cries again like she has been and now that she is in her big girl bed, I lay down next to her. As I lay there praying we both just fall asleep, Ari chats and chats and chats. I'm not really sure I remember to well what she was talking about, but it was pretty much anything. She was running the gambit. In between bits of conversation she would reach over and kindly pat my head. LOL Sweet but it also kept me from falling asleep. We see these times of bad sleep as her leaping forward in something. In the past it was practicing crawling, pulling up, walking, etc. Now it is sentence forming and understanding and describing concepts and the world around her.

The other day Daddy and Ari were playing with a plastic gardening claw that I had gotten her. It still had the tag attached by a plastic ring. She said, "Take it off." So I responded, "Okay, I'll go get the scissors." Ari said, "Mommy going to get scissors to cut it off." 8 Words! We couldn't believe it. Her longest sentence yet!

People who know Ari also know that since she was little she has been fascinated by letters and numbers and anything to do with them. The other day in the shower, she grabbed one of her shower crayons and wrote an H, an A, and a T. HAT! She has spelled her first word by herself! It was messy, obviously, but it was definitely HAT. I was so excited for her. She's been practicing for so long.

Okay... that is the Ari update for today. Next post is of the parenting style type. :)

Living in Wonder of a Child

This is kind of an addendum to the earlier post about the terrific twos.

I was just reading an article from a parenting magazine and it talked about the "numbers." As in, the number of children who are diagnosed with ADHD, have an eating disorder, have a learning disability, depression, etc. It is staggering. I don't remember ever going to school with so many children with problems when I was growing up. I realize they will tell me it is because they went undiagnosed, but... really?... Was there really something to diagnose? They all mostly seemed to do fine and most of them turned out to be perfectly okay, functioning adults.

This got me thinking about another issue I have had on my mind. Why must we constantly tell our children how bad they are? If it isn't the terrible twos, then it is the even more terrible threes, or it is the pre-teen years where they will talk back and hate us, or it is the high school years where it is full of angst and depression and more hating us. It is not often you hear our children's developmental years talked about in a positive light. We all know that children hear and understand way more than we think they do, so maybe some of these problems we are experiencing is our own d*mn fault. If all they hear is how bad they are going to be and how much they are going to hate us, then it must be perfectly right and acceptable to be bad and hate your parents. I definitely got that message when I was in high school. I was supposed to be dealing with angst and depression and I heard it loud and clear. It is not the time in our lives where we are learning to take on more responsibility and fighting to form our independence as adults, but our rebellious years (with a negative connotation on rebellion).

This is why I have started the way I plan to go on. We are going through the terrific twos and can't wait for the tumbling threes, and maybe some fun filled fours.

I look forward to appreciating Ari and telling her that she is becoming an amazing person as she grows and that I can't wait to see where she is going. I make a vow to her to cherish her individuality and independence as best I can so she will grow up strong and sure of her own worth. There will be times of strife, but that is just us butting heads over an issue and not what defines our relationship any more than my butting heads with my husband defines ours.

Here's to the adventure to come!

So Long Crib!

Yesterday, Saturday, we got Ari's new mattress delivered. She had gone with us to pick it out and we talked about it for the last week as we prepared for its arrival. When it showed up, she was ready!

"New bed! Big kid bed!

We had also gone to buy sheets together and she had picked out her own sheets. The sheets were actually a bit of a challenge because you see, Ari has a queen bed. Now before you say, are they crazy? Here's what happened. We wanted to buy Ari a full mattress, no box spring, and just lay it on the floor. We figure the closer to the ground you are, the less pain there is when you fall out. Also, we wanted a full because we wanted enough room on the bed for one of us to be able to sleep with her if she gets sick or she isn't sleeping well and we need to stay with her trying to get her back to sleep, and oops, we fall asleep too. Much nicer than falling asleep in the rocking chair. We figured, the full bed will also last her a long time and she can have sleepovers with it. Anyway, we are at the mattress store and they are having this special sale on the mattress that she/we liked. The deal was that it was the same price no matter what size you chose. Now... a king bed would definitely not fit into her room and would be silly, but between a full and a queen, we might as well get the bigger one for the same price! :) More fools us. They don't really sell toddler friendly sheets in the queen size.

So here we are walking down the aisle at Target (after failing miserably in Walmart) and it is Dora.. nope... Nemo... nope... Cars... nope... Fairies... nope... We finally give up on the toddler aisle and go around the corner and hallelujah! They have pre-teen sheets that are all these vibrant beautiful colors and they came in queen! So.. Ari chose a quilt that has all the bright rainbow stripes across it with a matching light blue sheet. It looks so cute and now I don't have to worry about her outgrowing a particular character. :)

She has been doing great! Her first nap, of course, she had to test the fact that she could actually get out of her bed alone, and it didn't help any that she needed to poop. As soon as we got all cleaned up, though, she went right to sleep and slept like normal. For bed time, she didn't even try to get out. She just went right to sleep. Overnight, because she has a mild cold, she was awake for 1 1/2 hours and it was heaven to be able to just lay down next to her instead of holding her rocking her in the chair. Today, again, for nap time, she went right to sleep and for bed, she needed a second visit, but otherwise, was out like a light. We have had our first falling out incident which wasn't so good and I have since moved the offending thing I didn't think she would be able to roll out into away from where it was that she rolled into it. LOL She just had to find the one spot that was going to hurt if she rolled out there.

A couple of notes for those thinking to move from the crib about why I think it went smoothly for us. 1) We have been watching this DVD called Potty Power. In the first segment they play a game called Baby or Big Kid. They proceed to show pictures and ask questions like, "Who can build a tower by themselves? Baby or Big Kid?" So... one of the questions is, "Who sleeps in a crib? Baby or Big Kid?" :) 2) We were thinking to get a new bed frame because ours was one of those with it standing off the ground, then box springs, then a big mattress and even I had to climb into bed instead of just get into it. Anyway, with Ari being able to get out of her bed, we wanted her to be able to get into ours by herself. So... we were originally just thinking to dump the box springs and get a low platform bed but keep the mattress. A long story short, we ended up changing the mattress and haven't gotten the platform bed yet. On the same day that Ari got her new mattress, mommy and daddy got their new mattress. Ours is of course, sitting on the ground like hers. I think that it made it easier for her because we were all going through it together. She was just as excited about being able to get into ours easily as she was by hers. I'm not saying everyone she get a new bed when their children do, but if you think you will be in the market in the next few months for a new bed, then it might be worth moving your schedule up and doing it together. :)

Anyway, my big girl is growing up and it is so wonderful to see! I just hope I don't have to try out her bed again tonight for 1 1/2 hours! :)

P.S. I know my site is kind of boring with no added pictures to posts yet, but I am having trouble locating my chords for my digital camera and so the camera is out of battery and even if it wasn't, I can't pull the pictures off of it. *sigh* As soon as I find those, there will be accompanying photos to go along with many of these posts. :)

Dance Baby, Dance!

On Friday morning Ari tried out her first dance class and it was very monumental to us.  The teacher had initially told us that most times parents will stay in with their child the first couple of lessons and then eventually, the class is supposed to be for the child to be there without the parent.  We went into the class and joined in with everyone and it was really nice but I realized that Ari was really into things for brief times but then she would turn to me instead of listening to the instructors.  I decided that the next moment she was distracted by the activity, I would sneak out and as soon as she got upset, I would come back in, but I was obviously more in the way than supportive.  

Well... Ari stayed in and loved the WHOLE class.  All 45 minutes with me only there the first 5 minutes or so.  She had such a good time with the other children and dancing around to the music.  The class is set up perfectly moving from one thing to the next so fast that they don't even really have a chance to consider being unhappy about mommy not being there.  The milestone is that, while Ari and I have done a lot of classes together in her lifetime, this is the first one where she was experiencing it without me.  My heart was both joyous at how well she did and sad to think that it was really the start of her having a lot of new experiences without me in the near future.  

I totally recommend this dance school.  If you want to hear more about it, please feel free to leave me a comment with your email address if I don't already have it.  Also, leave me your special milestone in the comments, because I would love to hear about them!